Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
