a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
