Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
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