11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
