the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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