Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
