I think i sorta joined a cult last night
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
