i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Randomize
