He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
