Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Randomize
