i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
