take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
