i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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