So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
