she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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