wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
