Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
