Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
