420 ftw
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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