Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
