Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
foreskin is a definite game changer
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
