All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I wish you could order shots online.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
