So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
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