She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
