Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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