you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
