so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Small penises have feelings too.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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