looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
