Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
