piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Randomize
