so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
