mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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