I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
How many fucks given?
0.12846
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
