you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
