my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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