it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
