I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Your cock deserves a montage
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
