My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
