That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
