i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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