Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
