Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
God I need to hump something, right now.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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