go do what you do best...puke behind churches
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
