U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
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