I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
