Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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