and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
