Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Randomize
