I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
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