a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I came so hard my ears popped.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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