I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
